| worst day of my life |
[01 Aug 2004|07:16pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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the sound of silence |
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* tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my uncle dying from leukemia
* today is the anniversary of my friend ryans death
* my nana passed away a few weeks ago
* josh passed away on july 3rd
* lots of confusion
* stress of going on an airplane soon
* my moms depressed like me
* i need someone to talk to- i need someone to hug and i need someone to cuddle me. and i'm all alone. great. all alone when i need someone the most. *huge thumbs up*
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| way to have no one care |
[31 Jul 2004|03:09pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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lonely day by phantom planet |
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wow today was pointless:
* went to my cousins graduation party
* was totally ignored by his friends even though i knew some of them
* played with mason and luke who are my baby cousins whom i adore
* ate really nasty really expensive food
* had my ipod die five minutes into the hour long trip
* got pulled over in my car on the way home
* got my new chucks dirty
* got another babysitting job offer for mason and luke
* missed patrick- thought about what he was doing and felt bad
* got really depressed and cried
* wanted to go get a tatoo but no one wanted to take me
* sorted out my life and figured out exactly what i want
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| ..ghar.. |
[29 Jul 2004|09:18pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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hungry like a wolf- by mikes brother ben |
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today i:
* got woken up by kyle at like 6 with text messages
* took a red hot shower
* went to work from 8:30 - 5:30
* heard mikes brother ben sing hungry like a wolf
* told jokes- heard some new ones
* had some green tea
* laughed so hard i almost wet myself
* watched birdcage in spanish
* found out guys like chick flicks sometimes
* was told that 'hot girls' have jettas with roxy stickers
* found out that 'hot girls' also wear chucks
* craved ben and jerrys but didnt have any
* did sit ups like mad
* watched a show about shark attacks
* made my mom listen to thrice
* started packing for california- a million days early
* canceled senior pictures for sat.
* made something special for patrick
* prayed for a call from him
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| i can't explain all the feelings you're making me feel |
[28 Jul 2004|01:20pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
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music |
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the darkness- i believe in a thing called love |
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today (so far) i:
* worked from 8:30 - 12
* ate soggy cereal
* went to radio shack for a head set
* went to panera for muffins and got hit on by a middle-aged creepo
* went to harmon and saw lots of stuff i want
* sung everysong on my itunes playlist
* made hot chocolate
* got this warm fuzzy feeling that everything in the world was perfect for a second
* pouted when i found out we didnt have marshmellos
* fell in love with dave matthews voice
* ate some snowcaps
* did a zillion crunches at 7 am lol
* thought about pat only every 2 seconds
* stared at my cell hoping it would ring
* jumped when it actually did (it was my mom)
* celebrated my parents being in alantic city by blasting music she hates
* ate a sticky bun
* fell in love with the lead singer of finch. shh dont tell dave!
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| fingerpaint |
[27 Jul 2004|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
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music |
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the cure - pictures of you |
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today i:
* worked 8:30 - 5:30
* painted my nails during nap time
* fingerpainted with nate
* danced in the pouring rain with a 2 year old
* read strega nona- my favorite book to him
* had pasta with garlic and broc. - yum
* watched daredevil with my mom
* got pissed that the girl died in the movie
* wondered if they plan on making daredevil 2
* waited for a call from pat but didnt get one
* looked at nanas picture for awhile
* has another chanakara tea that promotes imagination and insight
* had tingly feelings while drinking my tea
* took a video of nate fingerpainting.
* soaked the paint out of my clothing.
* ate a dq blizzard in strawberry banana.
* made my dog like my mom lol. it was easier than it sounds.
* missed patrick more than ever.
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| new method |
[26 Jul 2004|01:02pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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coheed and cambria - devil in jersey city |
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things i did:
* worked 8:30 - 2
* went shopping with my mother
* got new pink and black chucks
* washed my orange chucks
* got a new t shirt which i love
* got a wonderbra - yes. a wonderbra and i love it
* got new undies for cali
* went to chilis for dinner
* got 2 weird nj mags for the flight
* got 2 new nail polish colors and a hair brush
* got chanakara teas and had one that increased passion and it worked
* got a nice call from pat... god i miss him. rawr.
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| pay phones rock |
[25 Jul 2004|06:04pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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the sweet sound of oceans 11 |
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pat just called me from a pay phone. he spent like 4 dollars per call. omg i love him so much. i was soooo depressed and now i feel amazing. my cramps totally stopped. mmmmm i love being in love.
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| day two of no patrick |
[25 Jul 2004|09:46am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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the sound of commercials on tv |
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first of all yesterday was amazing. simply amazing. i can't believe my aunt is selling her house in manahawkin- its right on the bay. urgh it was a mini tradition to go see her every summer and go crabbing and fishing off of her dock. it was really sad that it was my last time... we caught a total of 9 crabs which is pretty good. and like no fish. pretty depressing. lol we saw them swimming but they wouldnt bite. damn smart fish. psh. anyway on the way down the shore theres a place by sayerville called laura's and its a cute little diner thats always doing incredible buisness. we go EVERY year for breakfast and i always get the same thing. when we pulled in it was empty. i felt something in the pit of my stomach begin to ache. we got out and read the sign: 'our dear valued customers of laura's we're very sorry to have sold laura's our last day of buisness will be may 16th. we'll miss you all.' how depressing is that? we had to eat at this other diner at the way- which was nowhere as good as laura's. my eggs were runny. not cool. but other than those things weighing on my mind yesterday was amazing. there were like 40 or more ducks swimming around our feet eating bread we tossed to them. i took tons of pictures and a video on my phone. this one duck who i named spritzer didnt leave my side the whole day. he swam along the dock back and forth until i left. he even waited when we went inside for dinner. shhh dont tell but i gave him more bread than the others. hehehe ahhh ok and second of all i miss my patrick like crazy. we planned dates and bought tickets to go to california and i'll be there from aug. 7th - 21st. my moms letting me and pat hang out which is the coolest thing. she said 'maybe you guys can go on dates- how cute.' im in heaven. now only if pat were here. he made me this build a bear.... and i've been taking it everywhere i go. it's dorky but it helps from being sad. at least we'll be together soon.
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| waiting for patrick |
[21 Jul 2004|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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music |
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beautiful world- i think its by coldplay... |
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is it just me or is new jersey the most boring place to be? i never usually complain about being bored- because to tell you the truth i rarely ever am. usually talking to pat takes up most of my time but now that he works i find myself sitting here staring at the screen praying for an im. and it always figures that when i'm talking to pat i get oodles of ims but when im alone i get like none. i'm watching this new show called rescue me about this firefighter. idk i like it alot. and they keep talking about putting cameras in their asses. forget liking- lmao i love this show. new favorite. OMG they just said nip it in the butt. no fucking way. aww i miss patrick. i miss him alot. he actually called me a few minutes ago on his break. i love him so much. i have no idea what i did to deserve him- but whatever i did i'm so thankful for it. and i got the most awesome news today from my mother- we're going to california the 2nd and 3rd week of august. which means pat will be back from his little camping mission. haha aww i can't believe i'll have to go 2 weeks without him. i'll die. i'm going to go watch the last 20 minutes of my new favorite show before i go to bed. then i have to get up at 8 to be to susan's by 8:30 to watch her kiddies for a handsome fee of 500 dollars a week.
some words of wisdom: "i hate cats. i think they suck." - rescue me
(he was talking about saving a little girl and her cat and having to give the cat his oxygen)
is anyone else tempted by papa smurf?
no?
just me huh?.... figures.
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